There’s absolutely one thing for sure in any long-term relationship: arguments will happen. Some are valid, some are stupid. Thanks to the crew at Vice, we can tell you every fight you’ll have in this, and any future relationship:
- The “Fill Up The Water Bottle” Argument – Maybe it’s at the bedside, or in the fridge, but if it’s empty when they want some water then you’re the uncaring S.O.B. who selfishly drank it all. Fill it nightly, and safe the headache.
- The “Embarrass In Front Of Friends” Argument – You tell her friends about “that one time.” You didn’t mean to offend…it just slipped out. It doesn’t matter if it’s funny, you’re still screwed.
- The “Get Along With Her Crappy Friends” Argument – Sometimes you’ve got to suck it up, take one for the time, and just try to get along.
- The “Butt Love” Argument – If it’s not meant to be, then forcing the issues just going to lead to ugliness. Either she will or she won’t…period.
- The “I Shouldn’t Have To Ask” Argument – Since you’re supposed to know “everything” you should see this one coming…even when you can’t.
- The “Crazy All Comes Out At Once” Argument – This is where all the stuff you said “didn’t matter” comes pouring out, and it’s usually triggered by something completely stupid.
- The “I’m Sober And You Came Home Drunk” Argument – Just go to bed because even that forced kiss can be awkward and nasty.
- The “You’re Both Drunk” Argument – Usually ending in someone pouting in another room while the other watches a movie entirely too loud and crashing on the couch.
- The “Too Much Time Together” Argument – “Me Time” is the key to letting this one blow over.
- The “Your Aparment’s Crappy” Argument – Living together is the only way to avoid this ugliness.
- The “Bad Taste” Argument – Because no one has better taste than you, right?
- The “Chewing Loud” Argument – This can go with any grating behavior, and we all have them.